Tag Archives: no promises

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April 26, 2018

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This Week At the Office

We got new nameplates! Is it sad that I found that exciting? I’m not sure why. I guess I like new things? They don’t even look that different from the old ones. However, the old ones didn’t stay on the cubicles very well… mine fell off ages ago.

That’s my name.

That is the new one. You can kinda see the holes on the wall underneath the window where my old one used to be. After it fell off, I put it on the little metal windowsill and basically taped it to the window.

The email we got said we could do whatever we wanted with our old nameplates. Keep it, throw it away, sell it on eBay, give to your mom, etc. I decided to keep mine. I have no idea what to do with it now.

That’s the old one. It’s about ten times thicker than the new one, but not thick enough that you could use it as a weapon. I mean, you could probably poke someone’s eye out with one of the corners, but ain’t nothing gonna happen if you try to hit them over the head with it.

I’m trying to figure out what to do with my old nameplate. I mean, nameplates exist so that if people are looking for your cubicle, they can find it, even if you’re not there. Maybe I should put it on my front door? Then everybody will know I live there! That sounds like a bad idea.

I also thought about putting it on my study door at home… you know, in case I forget my own name or how to spell it.

Maybe I’ll end up throwing it away, after all. But it will probably knock around my house for another couple of years first. I can’t throw stuff away until I’m really sure I’m never going to need it for anything.

In far more exciting office news, we also had cake this week! I failed to take a picture of the cake, so you’ll simply have to imagine it. It was a Costco cake and weighed nine pounds. It was a white cake with white frosting and some kinda white mousse in the middle. And it had a really cute rainbow with a sun and a cloud frosted on it. It was adorable! It was a co-worker’s birthday, so that’s why we had it.

If you’ve never had a Costco cake… you are missing out. They are enormous. I mean, it was a nine pound cake. Who doesn’t want nine pounds of cake? They’re also really good. And the frosting. Ahhh, that is heaven, my friends.

We also had a department lunch at Red Robin this week, which was especially nice because the Boss paid for it. Again I failed to take pictures, but this time it was because this happened before I decided to blog about office life. Though to be fair, I probably would’ve forgotten anyway, for the same reason I forgot about cake pictures. Which is that I was too busy eating. And being in heaven.

Basically, it’s been a pretty good week At The Office. I still have Friday, but nothing much usually happens on Friday. If I get surprised and something does happen, I’ll be sure to report on that. Since I know you are all super excited about my office life.

Coming Soon To A Blog Near You!

A post about audiobooks!

A post about desks and/or workspaces!

A post about more books probably!

And other random things, as usual!

Stay Tuned!

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August 5, 2017

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Weekly Observations: A List

1. Cutting a pineapple feels more like making a sacrifice to some unholy entity (e.g. Satan). It pours its life liquid all over everything while you cut it into little pieces. And then your counter is sticky for a while.

2. I have learned that there are actually people in the world today who believe the Earth is flat. Even though science proves that it isn’t. Apparently, all science is invalid because there are no set rules and the facts can change. Instead of understanding that this is due to scientists continually learning new information and updating what they know accordingly, these people have chosen the route of idiocy by deciding this makes all science null and void.

3. Sometimes expressions that I used to use and then forgot about come back with a vengeance. This time it’s a word I used to use in place of swearing – Bach. I’ve been saying it under my breath at work a lot this week. Yes, I’m taking a composer’s name in vain. How could I be so blasphemous? I dunno, I like to think that Bach would find it humorous, so somehow that makes it okay. After all, this is the guy who said, “If I decide to be an idiot, then I’ll be an idiot on my own accord.”

4. Whenever something happens on Game of Thrones, every other Facebook post has something to say about it. I end up feeling like I’m missing some important historical event because I don’t watch the show. (Note: I know it’s a good show and I do intend to watch it one day. However, I want to read the books that are out first. I keep putting it off because they are ENORMOUS.)

5. Last night, my cat threw up her barely digested dinner all over the couch. I found myself torn between concern for her well-being and a sense of irritated despair at the thought of trying to clean the vomit off the fabric couch.

6. I signed in to Evernote for the first time in at least two years. I found a note from September 2014 that said only, “Do you think my consumption of vegetation is so horribly lacking that a single baby carrot can make my intestinal tract start broiling in a storm of digestive discomfort?” I have no memory of this, so I’m not sure if I was talking to myself or not.

7. It seems I’m only capable of keeping one room in my house clean at a time. At the moment, it’s the kitchen. Dishes? Done. Counters? Clean. Floors? Mopped. My bedroom, though? Laundry piles everywhere. Bathroom? Counter covered in various hair accessories. Living room? Empty Amazon boxes strewn about the floors which haven’t been swept in who knows how long. But, damn it, my kitchen’s clean!

8. I refuse to say that this list format of weekly observations is going to be a regular thing because whenever I do that, it never happens again. So don’t hold your breath.