This Week At the Office: The Frigid North and Tiny Earthquakes

Let me begin by saying my lanyard is officially broken. You can read all about that in one of my previous posts. My last attempt to keep it together lasted for two weeks, which isn’t horrible, but isn’t good, either.

Now, here’s the weird part. I found another lanyard that I’ve never used in the backseat of my car. You see, my car happens to have been recalled by Nissan due to dangerous airbags that basically shoot shrapnel into you when they expand. So I had to take my car to the Nissan dealer to get them replaced. I wasn’t sure if it was going to take an hour or a couple days or a few weeks, so I decided to at least get all the trash out of my car, in case they needed to keep it for a bit. Turns out it took about an hour. But at least my car is somewhat clean and if I hadn’t done that, I never would have found this other lanyard!

The Rule at the Office is that you must be wearing your badge around your neck. This is why the lanyard is so important. If left to my own devices, I would just clip my badge reel on my pocket, like I used to do when I worked for the Post Office.

Today’s title is brought to you by Air Conditioning and Construction.

I have no explanation for why it feels like the Frigid North in this place. I’m always cold here, so I keep a blanket in my cubicle. I use it on my lap daily. However, the last couple of days have been freeeeeezing. I spent most of this morning with the blanket over my shoulders and wrapped around me. It’s a little bit better this afternoon, but still way too cold.

The rest of today’s title is brought to you by Construction.

They are building a parking structure across the street. It has at least one lower floor, but it feels more like fifty lower floors. I don’t know how exactly they’re drilling or whatever, but it rattles our entire building. Every few minutes, it’s like I’m getting a mini massage. And all the tchotchkes on my computer tower move just a little bit each time. The shaking has been likened to small earthquakes.

When I was around seven, I was in a major earthquake. We lived in Southern California, so it’s not like it was surprising. In L.A., where the earthquake hit, freeways were broken in half, buildings were falling down, and people were suffering from general mayhem. Where we were, which was much farther from the epicenter, a couple plates fell over and all the water splashed out of our pool, but we were unhurt and our house didn’t fall apart. It happened in the middle of the night. I would have slept through it, but my mom actually came up the stairs to get me because she was afraid the top floor would fall. All the power went out, so we listened to a battery powered radio for news.

The power came back on and we all went to school and work as usual. And there were about abijillion aftershocks. SO MANY. They happened at home, at school, in the car, on the toilet, and I’m not even joking. You just never knew when one would rumble through.

Earthquakes are less like everything is shaking due to nearby jackhammering and more like the ground has suddenly decided it wants to be like the ocean. There are waves.

However, this feels more like the aftershocks because they’re small and random.

In conclusion, I wish someone would turn down the a/c.

This Week At the Office: Badge Woes & Nachos

Yes, this week’s title rhymes. I did it on purpose!!

Anyway, it isn’t my badge that’s woeful, it’s actually the lanyard, but that was too long and didn’t sound good.

I am hoping that “lanyard” is the right word to use for the necklace-like thing that holds my badge reel that is attached to my badge.

Badges are dang complicated.

A couple weeks ago, before I started blogging about #officelife, we got new badges. Not really all that exciting, but for a short time, we had double badges so we could get everywhere.

Anyway, even when I have only one badge, it’s a complicated thing. First, you’ve got the actual badge, then there’s the plastic sheath it slides into, then there’s the plastic piece that attaches to the badge reel, then there’s a key ring to which the reel and lanyard are attached, and then there’s the lanyard which hangs around my neck. So many pieces.

I recently had to get a new reel because the string inside my old one just up and broke one day. And yesterday, the same thing happened to my lanyard.

I’m a true Lady, so I have one of those fancy beaded lanyards. It was actually made by someone who works at the company and I bought it when they were selling them for charity. I was freakin’ happy about it, too, because I had a boring ugly black thready thing previously. Gross.

Anyway, the lanyard attached to the keyring by two tiny, beaded loops. One of the loops broke and I lost nearly all the beads. The rest I just threw away. Because the thread on this thing is TINY and I knew there was NO WAY I was going to be able to put those beads back on with my SAUSAGE FINGERS.

I tried taping the broken loop, hoping it would stay together enough so that I didn’t have to get a new lanyard. Alas, the tape lasted a whole two hours.

Then I tried to tie the broken ends of the loop together around the other loop. It also lasted a whole two hours.

Last night, I took my badge home, which I almost never do. I always leave it in a secret compartment of my car because if I don’t, I will always forget it. This time, however, I needed to figure something out. So I took some thread and tied the broken end to the key ring. SO FAR SO GOOD.

We’ll see how long this MacGyver’d lanyard keeps together. I hope it’s a long time because I’ve already used this one for a few years and I don’t wanna get a new one. I like the one I got!

In more delicious office news, we had nachos today. Our Employee Activity peeps usually always do nachos for Cinco de Mayo, but since it’s on a Saturday this year, they did it for Quatro de Mayo instead. There were chips and cheese and deliciousness. I took a picture just for you.

Oh yeah. Check out those nachos. Delicious.

This Week At the Office

We got new nameplates! Is it sad that I found that exciting? I’m not sure why. I guess I like new things? They don’t even look that different from the old ones. However, the old ones didn’t stay on the cubicles very well… mine fell off ages ago.

That’s my name.

That is the new one. You can kinda see the holes on the wall underneath the window where my old one used to be. After it fell off, I put it on the little metal windowsill and basically taped it to the window.

The email we got said we could do whatever we wanted with our old nameplates. Keep it, throw it away, sell it on eBay, give to your mom, etc. I decided to keep mine. I have no idea what to do with it now.

That’s the old one. It’s about ten times thicker than the new one, but not thick enough that you could use it as a weapon. I mean, you could probably poke someone’s eye out with one of the corners, but ain’t nothing gonna happen if you try to hit them over the head with it.

I’m trying to figure out what to do with my old nameplate. I mean, nameplates exist so that if people are looking for your cubicle, they can find it, even if you’re not there. Maybe I should put it on my front door? Then everybody will know I live there! That sounds like a bad idea.

I also thought about putting it on my study door at home… you know, in case I forget my own name or how to spell it.

Maybe I’ll end up throwing it away, after all. But it will probably knock around my house for another couple of years first. I can’t throw stuff away until I’m really sure I’m never going to need it for anything.

In far more exciting office news, we also had cake this week! I failed to take a picture of the cake, so you’ll simply have to imagine it. It was a Costco cake and weighed nine pounds. It was a white cake with white frosting and some kinda white mousse in the middle. And it had a really cute rainbow with a sun and a cloud frosted on it. It was adorable! It was a co-worker’s birthday, so that’s why we had it.

If you’ve never had a Costco cake… you are missing out. They are enormous. I mean, it was a nine pound cake. Who doesn’t want nine pounds of cake? They’re also really good. And the frosting. Ahhh, that is heaven, my friends.

We also had a department lunch at Red Robin this week, which was especially nice because the Boss paid for it. Again I failed to take pictures, but this time it was because this happened before I decided to blog about office life. Though to be fair, I probably would’ve forgotten anyway, for the same reason I forgot about cake pictures. Which is that I was too busy eating. And being in heaven.

Basically, it’s been a pretty good week At The Office. I still have Friday, but nothing much usually happens on Friday. If I get surprised and something does happen, I’ll be sure to report on that. Since I know you are all super excited about my office life.

Coming Soon To A Blog Near You!

A post about audiobooks!

A post about desks and/or workspaces!

A post about more books probably!

And other random things, as usual!

Stay Tuned!